Snipping Leaks, (Fri, Nov 30th)
Updated: 2012-11-30 17:44:56
ISC reader Phil asked a great question earlier today: Im wondering if there are da ...(more)...
eWEEK and Tal Klein, senior director of products at Bromium, offer a slide show on protecting against attacks at the endpoint.
I don’t believe men and women in relationships should spend much time with people of the opposite sex. It sounds very 1950s, but it isn’t. Let me explain.
I think humans are designed to fall in love with each other. Quickly. We’re geared to be around someone in the clan or village who smiles nicely, who you share a joke or two with, or who you see getting upset or excited about something, and you bond. Instantly.
We do this because that bond quickly leads to courtship, and that quickly leads to babies. This is good because humanity doesn’t die. We’ll put that in the plus column. Basically, our genes want to survive, so they make us grow attracted to almost anyone around us with blinding speed.
The way this materializes today is you’ll have your girlfriend or wife hanging out with some guy in a very harmless way, and after a few days of this she’ll start bringing up this other person constantly in conversation:
Jason thinks…
Whoa. Jason? Who’s Jason? Oh, just this guy. This happens once, great. A few times, no issue. But soon it becomes apparent that this other human is basically imprinting his essence onto your woman, just through casual conversation and getting to know each other. And it has nothing to do with him, or with her. They’re both great people.
But if you were to be sent to Madagascar for nine months on a job while they “just hung out”, this would soon be a problem. And the more personal they were with each other, i.e. work drama, family drama, etc–again, all harmless–the faster it will happen.
This is how “forbidden love” forms, where a guy falls in love with his girlfriend’s friend. They just hang out too much. He’s pretty cool. She’s pretty cool. And they just bond because that’s what people do. The problem was thinking it was ok for them to interact that much in the first place. That has an expected outcome.
Some people believe everyone is trying to shag everyone else, so you have to lock up your girl and your man. That’s not it. That’s defensive and insecure and juvenile.
The problem is precisely that it’s not intentional. It sneaks up on you because that’s what it’s supposed to do. It’s a human instinct to bond with people of the opposite sex who are near to you, and to do it very quickly. And the deeper the exposure, the quicker the bond.
This is why the best pickup lines in the world are based around,
Tell me your problems…I’ll just listen.
It’s intimate. It forms bonds within minutes. It’ll seem like a simple conversation, and then the victim will find herself thinking about him constantly until the spell wears off.
It’s also why movie stars can’t stay committed. They leave their loved ones and go of on some exotic trip with another movie star, and then go through extremely emotional acting scenes with them–for weeks at a time. And they wonder why they suddenly fall in love with them. If you were on a remote island with a movie start (or anyone else) doing acting scenes with them, you’d do the same thing.
So, when my girl says she wants to go learn some kind of intimate dancing style (her girlfriend is into it), the answer is simple: we do it together or we don’t do it. It’s not because she’s untrustworthy (she’s extremely honest and loyal); it’s because she’s a girl, and rubbing crotches and laying your head on another man’s chest for hours per week while learning a physical skill is bad for current relationships.
I told her I’d learn the dance as well, but not with another female partner. Why? Because talking to that girl, and having her rub her stuff all on me, would instantly get me thinking things I shouldn’t. I know this. I’m aware of it. So I defend against it by limiting contact. Brain over…well, just use your brain.
So what’s the takeaway?
Simple: be aware of the time your SO spends with other women/men. Notice the level of intimacy in the communication. Monitor for signs that the other person is on their mind. And if it becomes obvious that this person is bonding with him/her, pull it back. It really is that simple.
Don’t go ape shit if he mentions that this girl at work likes the song that’s playing. And if your girl mentions some guy at work, or wants to go hang with friends and there are guys there–no problem. Even if the guys are single and probably going to pursue her.
No sweat. If you’re not insecure and she’s a good woman, there’s nothing at all to stress. Don’t become a bloody neanderthal.
Just watch for multiple/constant interactions with people of the other gender. Don’t spend lots of time with your friends’ smart, attractive partners, for example. And don’t rely on trust when your SO is spending more and more alone time with “just a friend”. They won’t make a mistake, the mistake will happen to them.
Respect the evolutionary biology, and don’t be surprised by natural outcomes you have all the tools to anticipate. That’s all I’m saying.
Related Posts:One of Life’s Harshest RealitiesWho Wants to Date the High-powered Female CEO?Teachers and Sex: Yes, There *Is* A Double StandardSome Clarification on How I View Most Believers“My Girl” vs. “My Wife” | danielmiessler.com
# Read the LoTR calendar file from a default OS X install
~ <span class="first"cat /usr/share/calendar/calendar.lotr
Related Posts:<a rel="nofollow" target="_blank" href="http://danielmiessler.com/blog/connecting-to-serial-ports-from-os-x" class="crp_title"Connecting to Serial Ports from OS XEmployment Status by Education LevelRemoving Files from a Git Repository Without Actually Deleting ThemObama Gaining GroundMount an ISO From the Command Line in OS X
Here, eWEEK has compiled some of the better it security predictions for the coming year to help your organization get a head start on preparation.
Overview Retina CS enables teams to centrally manage organization-wide IT security and compliance initiatives from a single, web-based console. It provides discovery, prioritization, and remediation of security risks by delivering what matters the most – context. Retina CS is the centerpiece of the BeyondTrust vision of Context Aware Security Intelligence which helps organizations answer the [...]
eWEEK highlights some of the most devastating breaches and hacks in 2012.
In this article, we'll look at how virtual smart cards are created and used in Windows 8.
When the revolution comes, the first up against the firewall will be your business partners – along with every other third-party that provides you with software.
It used to be that you could call for more secure software from individual vendors – and Microsoft heeded that call, for example with its push for trustworthy computing, starting in 2002 – but today we’re more dependent on software than ever, and more interconnected than ever; we rise and fall by the security of our associates.
A customer recently contacted us because he wanted to load ERF capture files from their Endace probes into NetworkMiner Professional. In order to do so they would first need to convert the ERF file into the libpcap format. The obvious solution is to use editcap and specify the output capture type w[...]
In this article the author reviews Windows Server 2008/R2 Firewall settings and options on Domain Controllers.
Company Products Services Resources Veracode Blog All Things Security Our take on the daily happenings in the world of Application Security All Things Security Research Infographics Veracode Security Blog : Application security research , security trends and opinions ALL THINGS SECURITY Security Debt and Vulnerability Supply Chains Security Debt and Vulnerability Supply Chains Posted by Chris Wysopal in ALL THINGS SECURITY , November 16, 2012 Comments 0 When we were kicking around ideas for a new SoSS supplement I thought the vendor testing angle could be interesting . We had just launched our VAST program so the topic made our marketing folks happy , but also because I think the supply chain analogy can be an interesting lens to view the security industry . We can think about the software
, Network Computing www.networkcomputing.com RSS Newsletters Current Issue Issue Archives Slideshows Whitepapers About Us Greg Ferro Bio Archive Greg Ferro Home News and Analysis Research Tech Centers End to End APM IPv6 Next Gen Network Private Cloud Public Cloud Channels Backup Recovery Cloud Computing Cloud Storage Data Center Data Protection Networking Mgmt Openflow Servers Storage Storage Mgmt UC VoIP Virtualization WAN App Acceleration Wireless Bloggers Lee H . Badman Greg Ferro Mike Fratto David Hill Jeff Loughridge Howard Marks Joe Onisick Art Wittmann Upcoming Events WANs at the Breaking Point : How to Transform Your Network to an Intelligent WAN Wednesday , December 5, 2012 11:00 am PT 2:00 pm ET Duration : 60 minutes Today's enterprise networks are at the breaking point . The
Our latest SoSS release is a feature supplement, these allow us to extend our analysis to a variety of topical areas. This feature supplement focuses on the actual state of vendor application security testing programs currently being implemented by our enterprise customers.